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terpaksa rela....

Konon nya aku nak berahsia jer..nak simpan diam2 jer.....tp biasala dah nama pempuan..mesti nak citer gakkan.....

Teki teki teka tekuk aku b4 raya tu dah terjawab.............scan n scan n scan ..that's the hearbeart..says dr.J ...... argggghhhhhh frust nye aku time tu tp still control depan doc......dr.J can i pregant again coz dah 3times caeser? .....dr J said....its ok...i dah pernah buat 5, 6 caeser n its ok....... what can i say lagi.... do pasrahhhhhhh.................. but in heart like i want to say....can't i........oh no.... ku already saw the heartbeat n dosa besar for me to do it.............................B

Kuar jer bilik doc, mr hubby asking.....cannot say anything.....lagipun tgh ramai2 org kan......masuk jer pintu kete...oh noooooo....................bederai2 air mata turun.............terus tak masuk ofis sebab mata dah bengkak.......... he said redhojerla..maybe ada hikmah..... i still can't accept.........

doc kasik ubat kuatkan rahim nasid folic..but till now satu ubat pun aku tak jamah.........bleeding is still but just like staining only.......kalau mmg dah Allah nak kasik jugak rezeki ni bertahan la dia di situ........... till now my emotion mmg tak stabil...sometimes can accept and try to accept but sometimes cannot accept dgn apa yg berlaku...........aku sgt frust sebab dah mcm2 protection tp kuasa Allah mengatasi segalaanya.........

Only my ofis mate know the story........family ku takdak sapa pun tau..( oh my niece nana n my acu..please keep tis screet ) . There's many reaseon why i can't..................my fobia masuk OT n  the sakit after operation (cannot n dun want to remember) .............will deliver  maybe end april next year......my bibik will balik on may nex year....tiket pun dah belikan sebab ada promo....whose gonnna jaga me....its 4th operate n conferm 2 weeks cannot do anything..........my mom confem dah tak larat and cannot jaga me like before........ughhhh......i want to cry...............

Baby hani still small   1y 8m...........igtkan itula yg bongsu........... previously Najla  1y 4m aku pregnant Hakim......Hakim 2Y aku pregnant  si Hani pulak....so mmg beza    masing2 2-3y....... ramai yg tanya aku tak nak anakker...so ada yg nak mintak anak tu.....the problem is aku tak kisah anak ramai tp aku kisah nak operate lagik kkkkkkkk..............

Actually still early....have a 1month to confirm it....if this preg safe till 1st trimester....i have to think what plan yg kene buat..............maybe mintak tlg kat bibik cont 6m to 1 year....n have to up her gaji la...........aku tgh melawan loya2 yg dtg....tp sometimes lepas jugak.....now mencarik mende yg masam jerrrrrrrrrr............

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